The Quiet of a Morning Ritual

Waking up before dawn has become my sanctuary—a time where the world is still, and I can breathe. Each morning, between 4 and 5 a.m., I rise to feed my beloved animals, Oliver, Willow and her five babies. I also tend to the daily chores. With the arrival of Willow's babies this past April, the early hours have transformed from a simple routine into a cherished ritual.

After the animals are fed and the chores are done, I step out onto the deck with a steaming cup of coffee. The air is crisp and has the remarkably nostalgic scent of sand and the ocean water. The sky is painted in soft hues of pink, blue, grey and orange, and the world feels like it’s holding its breath. It’s these moments of peace that allow me to reflect on life before the pressures of everyday living take hold.

The Change

The past two years haven’t been easy. Watching my mom’s decline due to dementia has been heart-wrenching. I’ve found myself stepping into the role of caregiver, a role that feels both familiar and foreign. It’s strange to think that I’ve always been a bit of a parent to her. The responsibilities weigh heavily, yet I seek glimmers of hope throughout the day—small moments that remind me of the love and support from family and friends who are walking this journey with me and the many customers that I can relate to that are also taking care of their elderly parents. These people have been my lifeline, helping me navigate the emotional currents when I feel overwhelmed. When despair creeps in, they remind me of the strength I possess.

Crafting Calm

Throughout my life, I’ve turned to my craft as a source of comfort and expression. From the days of coloring books to sketching in my youth, and now to painting and soap making, creativity has been my refuge. It’s remarkable how a simple act of creation can transport you to a serene space, providing a momentary escape from the chaos around you.

Yet, I must admit that I’ve been feeling a bit stressed lately. Dementia is a relentless adversary, and being present for my mom can feel like a heavy burden. It’s hard to shake the feeling of being a scapegoat, often finding myself trying to soothe the emotional turbulence that sometimes permeates my home. My craft has always been there to help me cope, just as it did during difficult moments in my marriage, where I never knew what mood would greet me at the end of the day.

Seeking Balance

I find myself yearning for a break—a moment when I can sit on my deck, admire the gardens I’ve nurtured, cut beautiful flowers to arrange throughout my home, and finally set up my easel to paint the life I’ve always dreamed of. I long for a day where I can immerse myself in my craft without the weight of worry. Yoga serves as another anchor, helping me find balance and calm amidst the storm. Each stretch and breath pulls me back into my body, grounding me in the present moment.

Looking Ahead

As I embrace these early mornings, I’m reminded of the power of rituals. They provide a framework for my day, a sense of control amidst the unpredictability of life. I cherish these quiet moments with Oliver and Willow, and I hold onto the hope that, despite the challenges, I’ll continue to find beauty and joy in the little things.

The journey is hard, but I’m learning to appreciate the small victories, the quiet mornings, and the support that surrounds me. I seek to cultivate a life filled with love, creativity, and serenity, one early morning at a time.

In this beautiful chaos, I am learning that it’s okay to be vulnerable, to seek help, and to embrace the journey, knowing that every step, no matter how difficult, brings me closer to the life I aspire to live.

It’s 7am and I’m ready for another cup of coffee. How about you? How do you get through challenges and remain calm?

Answer in the comments.

Happy Sunday❤️

Love always,

Caroline + Oliver, Willow and her five babies